Fresh start

Ok, so I have been looking back at past posts and boy is that depressing! No wonder no one was reading! I'm starting over!

I'm doing great. I just started up at the gym and got 5 trainer sessions and I start those tonight. I have a ton of weight that I put on from the meds that I need to get off! At this point I am going to need to start now to be in bathing suit shape by next summer! I am determined.

Baxter our puppy is now 4 1/2 months old. He is adorable. He can sit, stay, come, and do down.

So not much to share but I am the happiest I've been in a long time and life is good!

Emotions

I am feeling very alone right now. I am struggling mentally. I feel like I am either really irriated all the time or I am crying. Not much in between. I have started going to Al-Anon again in addition to my psych appts and therapy appts. The meds still aren't working. I've been on several different things now and I am now trying Tegratol and Abilify. Not working so far.

The other problem is work is still so stressful. I never know if we will actually make payroll by some act of God each time. It's very scary. I think that is really not helping the situation. I have resume's out there and one for a job that my neighbor works for that I really want. It would be less pay and less responsibility but would give me the chance to get into a company that is well established and doesn't have the threat of folding. The kind of job security may mend me completely! ha ha.

Anyway, if anyone actually reads this, have a great weekend.

Puppies

Lucky

I'm still here

I know that no one really reads this so it doesn't matter if I don't write for a while... But I'm back.

I obviously had a really hard time with Lucky passing away. There have also been struggles with my husbands alcoholism going on so life has just been too stressful to write about. Things I think are on the up and up though. I am going to Al-anon once a week and will actually be going twice this week and Bob has been going to AA twice a week. So as long as we are concentrating on taking care of ourselves, hopefully things will get easier at home.

We are also going to be bringing home a puppy at the end of August. I need a dog in the house. I need that distraction to love something else instead of just missing Lucky. I will put up some more pictures of Lucky and some of the puppies we will be choosing from.

The Lucky Dog

We had to put our dog Lucky to sleep last night... it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

You were my baby. You were my friend. You always listened and never judged. You were always excited to see me when I got home. You were my rock.

I love you Lucky and I hope you are up in heaven playing with no pain or worries.

Trying to stay positive while working for free

Well overall my mood is pretty good. I think the drugs are starting to kick in.

I still haven't gotten a paycheck and I have been putting out resumes like mad. I am still working and doing everything I can to make this place work but if I find another job I will probably take it. A person can't work for free forever.

I cut out all our extra debt payments and I think I will only have to pull $600 from savings to make up for last weeks paycheck. That will leave about $1200 left in savings. Not much at all. I just need to try to remain positive and hope we get some checks in so I can do payroll.