Reason 1,586 for me not to have biological children

#1,586- Whether they are your biological child or not they have the ability to reach into your chest, pull your heart out, and stomp on it until you can't feel anything anymore.

D broke the news to B last night about possibly moving in with her boyfriend. B said he will absolutely not agree to that. He started listing off reasons and I completely agree with him. We asked her what her reasons were for wanting to do this. They were, I could be closer to him and my family. (OUCH, what the hell are we?) and that she doesn't get to make any of her own decisions. So because you feel like you haven't been able to make any of your own decisions (which is absolutely not true by the way) you are going to make a decision to move in with your boyfriend while you are 18 and he is 17 and by no where near prepared for what life is going to be like for a young couple.

In reality, she was never actually "here". She never gave it a try which makes me really sad. I was the same way when I was her age though, I thought I had all the answers and knew what was going to be best for me. I think I owe my parents an apology when I see them this weekend.

So when it comes down to it, we have no control. She is going to do what she wants, we told her we would not fund her decision however. We had planned to take care of all her expenses while she worked full time this summer and saved so she could go to school in the fall and have spending money from the money she saved and we would still pay the rest of the bills. She says she doesn't understand why we wouldn't pay for her expenses if she moved in with her boyfriend. We said we will not fund a bad decision.

I just feel like a paycheck.

OCD Blogging- I can't stop! :)

Ok this makes post number 3 for the day. I'm out of control. ha ha.

My step-daughter just told me that her boyfriend wants her to move in with him and his dad this summer. She hasn't told her dad yet. I told her she needs to tell him tonight because I can't keep this from him.

I may shock anyone who ends up reading this by saying I think it might be a good thing. I know she is miserable with us because she is an hour and a half away from her boyfriend, friends and other family and this boy is actually a good influence on her for the most part. I also think it would be good for her to deal with the true reality of adulthood. I told her we would not be helping financially if she moved out. As harsh as that might seem, it may just be what she needs to gain the confidence to make it on her own.

At the same time it hurts me and I know it will hurt B. For so long we have felt like just a paycheck to her mom and when the money stopped, D moved in so then we felt like just a paycheck to her. She treats us with respect and everything but just deep down it felt like, why is she moving in with us now, you know?

We love this girl so much and just want her to have a happy, healthy, successful life. Unfortunately, she is an adult now and we can't necessarily tell her what to do, more like guide and pray to God that she listens. She is not even my biological daughter but the pain sure feels like it.